There used to be a time in this weight loss journey, that I would be amazed at my success. The mere fact that I met weight loss goals for 3 consecutive weeks was somewhat mind blowing. It sounds silly but it's true. But after those first 3 weeks, something peculiar happened. Hitting my weekly goals (or coming very close to them) became the norm and the expectation.I can remember the days when I would set goals, and know, as I was writing them, that I would not reach them. It's pretty sad. I'd write the goals down in my journals. Program them into my blackberry. Write them on my wall calendar. The benchmark days came and went, as they always do. The pounds...well they stayed. And at the end of each month, when I saw that I didn't reach my goal, I used it as an excuse to stay fat. As an excuse to keep doubting and downing myself. An excuse to be mediocre. My self-talk was negative and so was my outlook, not only on weight loss, but on life.
They say hindsight is 20/20 and I can certainly attest to that. I realize now, that what I was missing back then was the belief that I could succeed. What did it matter that I wrote my goals down in three separate places? I knew I wasn't going to achieve them anyway. But 2009 is the year of expectation. I set a goal believing I can reach it, thus ushering in the expectation that I will reach it. It's really a beautiful relationship, belief and expectation.
By creating meaningful reasons for losing this weight, I've come to believe that I deserve ALL the things I want, and that attaining these things are very possible. Among these reasons are living longer, running faster, falling in love and taking more risks in life. As a result, I hold myself in higher esteem. In fact, I dare myself to set a weight loss goal, and doubt my ability to reach it. I'd slap myself, then say, "Wake up, fool! It's already yours. You just have to go over and GRAB it!!!"
This is what I honestly believe, and it doesn't just apply to weight loss. Because I am knocking my goals off one by one, with ease, and witnessing the awakening of the sleeping giant that is the power within me, the little peep hole of possibility has now become a gaping hole of probability. It is no longer, "I wish." The phrase is "I will." I will reach my goal weight. I will turn heads. I will move to New York. I will write a novel. I will be happy. I will be great. I will live my life in it's FULLNESS. Along the way, I look forward to the task of turning obstacles into opportunities.
And all this time, I was the only person standing in my way.
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